I’m back!…Sortof!!!

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while.  We were very sad when our beloved dog, Sam, died.  A few weeks after that our dear friends from France came for a month long visit and it has been non-stop fun and friendship…just what we needed to lift our spirits!  We also had a great visit from my husband’s grandfather, grandmother, and Aunt.  They came to celebrate his grandfather’s 87th birthday with us.  It was a blast!

I won’t start back on the weekly devotionals till the kids go back to school in a few weeks.  It’s just too hard to block off enough time to do it while they are home.  So, I just wanted to pop in and say “hi” to my internet friends/lurkers.  I hope you are having a great summer!  I’ll be back posting soon.

Heartbroken…

Our beloved shih-tzu dog, Sam, passed away Saturday morning and we are heartbroken. We were blessed to have him as part of our family for a little over fourteen years. In many ways he was our first “child,” having bought him when we had our first case of “baby fever.” (He never let our daughters forget it!) He was loving, proud, vocal, grumpy, persistent, cuddly, and a wonderful lap dog and faithful companion…and he is heartbreakingly and deeply missed.

I am not up for writing a devotion for this week other than to say that I hope and pray that God has a special fondness for dogs (given that “dog” is “God” spelled backwards!) and that it means we will have Sam with us in Heaven. Till then…he is deeply loved and will be deeply missed.

Surprise!…A New Look!

What do ya think?! I was never too crazy about the original theme, so we’ll give this one a try. One of these days I might even get my own personal theme. Baby steps…!

Devotion for the Week of June 30, 2008

“Good, Better…Best!”

“Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:21-24

I am not into very many things. I’m not particular about the label on the clothes I wear, what kind of purse I carry, or what brand of shoes are on my feet. My weaknesses are books, chocolate and…dinnerware. Dinnerware?…What?!…If given the monetary resources I would own rooms full of books, have only the best chocolate imported, and have hundreds of dinnerware patterns displayed in large glass cases. So it was with great glee that I finally convinced my not-so-enamored-with-dinnerware husband that it was time to retire the cheap, scratched up glass plates we bought at Walmart over 15 years ago and purchase a new set of everyday dinnerware.

The hunt began! I could barely contain my excitement as I entered the kitchen departments of several stores looking for just the right set. And, then, I spotted it! I instantly feel in love with a simple, elegant, classic set of everyday china by Mikasa called Antique White…and it was lovely! It had a gently scalloped edge, a creamy white shiny finish, and a light weight feel. It was perfect! I could barely contain myself as I purchased a 45 piece set that included the most adorable sugar bowl and creamer. Back home, I immediately unpacked and washed it.

It’s first use was for a breakfast of waffles for my daughters and one of their friends that had spent the night. The elegance of the plates made the waffles not only look like a million bucks but made them taste like something out of a five star restaurant. Professional chefs say you taste with your eyes first…and man! did they taste like perfection itself!!!

After breakfast I got on the internet to see what other pieces were available to complete my set. My older daughter interrupted my search to ask me if she could download a popular pop song onto her mp3 player. I quickly looked up the lyrics and, much to her disappointment, I had to tell her no because the lyrics weren’t appropriate for her age. “But m-o-o-o-m,” she said, and went on to point out that she hears it on the radio, so why did it matter? I explained that it was different to hear it sporadically on the radio versus playing it over and over on a mp3 player by which the repetition would ingrain the lyrics and the values they promoted onto her heart and mind. Though disappointed, she took it well.

It was when I got back to my search for more dinnerware pieces that I saw it…underneath a glowing description of the china I had purchased there was a little warning notice at the bottom of the page. “Warning this product contains lead”… followed by the dire consequences that could be expected as a result from eating off these dishes. There had been no warning at the store, nor on the box. Apparently, while meeting FDA standards for lead, this particular pattern does not meet California’s standards under Proposition 65 which established more stringent standards for Californians. Though considered safe for the residents of 49 states, the dinnerware was a health hazard for California citizens.

OH NO!!!! I was crushed! I called the Mikasa customer service number to get details and couldn’t relieve my concerns with their assurances. I then talked to the sales associates in the kitchen departments of a couple of stores who both knew nothing about it and followed up their vague assurances of its safety with questioning the logic of those, to paraphrase, “liberal Californians who go overboard with their environmental concerns.” I realized what I had to do. It was a sad day…a very sad day, indeed,…when I packed up the beautiful china and returned it to the store.

Just as the pop song my daughter wanted to download wasn’t the best for my daughter, that dinnerware wasn’t the best for my family. Though the song has a catchy tune and the dishes were elegance themselves, still they weren’t the best. And, just as daily doses of a pop song that will be forgotten within months could still influence my daughter’s heart and values as she grows up, so too, daily doses of lead, albeit small, could still impact my family’s health in the years to come. The choice has to be made…do I settle for something that is acceptable and even considered good, or do I settle for what’s best for me and my family?

As I grow and mature as a Christian, I am faced with this decision multiple times daily. Should I read a particular book? Should I watch a certain tv show or movie? Should I wear a particular piece of clothing? Should I invest my time in a certain way?, Should I spend our money on a particular item?, Should I respond to others in a particular way?, etc. And, I’m not just talking about things that are blatantly wrong according to the Bible’s standards. There are plenty of things that are acceptable and maybe even good that may not necessarily be the best for me or my family. There is no end to the things available for Christians to get into. The question is, should I? Should you?

For many years I made these decisions based on trying to earn God’s love, approval, and favor…aka legalism…which is always a defeating proposition and a totally unnecessary response to God’s free gift of grace and His unconditional love for us. Now, I am secure in God’s love for me no matter what, and also secure in my salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ who was crucified on the cross for my sins, then rose again.

I try to make these decisions based on the spiritual impact something has on my relationship with Christ…Does it encourage and add to my relationship with God and others? Or, does it cause distance in my relationship with God and others? Does it hurt my Christian witness…meaning, if others see me doing this, will they question the validity of my faith? Does it influence in a negative way how I see people or things or how I think? Does it reinforce the world’s standards that are in direct conflict with Biblical standards? Is it something that, though not expressly forbidden in the Bible, I still don’t feel good about? Even if it’s acceptable and good, is there a better standard for my life?

These are the kinds of questions that each one of us should ask and answer for ourselves…what impact does (you fill in the blank) have on me and my relationship with Christ and others and on my witness of my faith to others? (And don’t kid yourself, everything influences you for the better or worse.) The challenge is, for each one of us, individually, to answer it with the best choice and have the faith and courage to live out that standard.

I’d be lying if I said this was an easy thing to do. Just as it was difficult for my daughter to not download that song and for me to return those dishes, it is difficult on so many other levels to consciously choose the best standards, God’s standards, to live by and then to actually do it. Mistakes and failures are guaranteed as part of this process, but we have a faithful God who will show us the way…and will forgive us and love us along the way, too!

Father,

The idea of living up to your perfect standards is overwhelming and impossible. I am so grateful that you remember that I was created of dust, that I am only a human who will make mistakes regularly, and that you have a never ending abundance of compassion and love for me that covers all of my mistakes. Give me a desire to live a better life that is pleasing to you and the courage to make both the easy and the hard choices and to follow through with them. Help me to not fall into the trap of legalism in order to “earn” the love you so freely give, but to choose a better way in order to obey and please you, to not put distance in my relationship with you, and to grow in maturity as a believer in you. I praise you for who you are…my creator, my God, who has the best plan for my life.

In your son, Jesus,’ precious name, Amen.

If I had met Jane…

I already did a post the other day about the book Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict by Laurie Viera Rigler, but there’s something that still just really bothers me about that book. There’s a scene where Courtney/Jane has an encounter with Jane Austen, herself. The dialogue that follows just doesn’t get it for me. Courtney/Jane rambles and talks more about herself and her situation of being from the future, Jane Austen’s books being made into movies, etc. while Jane Austen responds, understandably so, as if the woman is crazy. I found the scene, which could have been the high point of the book, rather disappointing.

It got me thinking about what I would have said if I had met Jane. I think it would have went something like this…I would have worked out a proper introduction and then arranged to have tea with Jane Austen. Knowing she would be embarrassed about being found out, I would have brought up her works in a round about way and praised them to the high heavens, without letting on that I knew who she was. I would have expressed a strong desire that the author would write even more books…and quickly! I wouldn’t have mentioned being from the future. And, I would have asked her opinion about certain aspects of the books…Did she think Charlotte Lucas did the right thing by settling for marriage to Mr. Collins? Did Marrianne do the right thing in marrying Colonel Brandon based on respect, without passionate love? Did she think that Elizabeth and Darcey lived happily ever after, and what would she guess their names to be?!

Now, it’s your turn! What would you have said if you time travelled back to then and had a chance to met Jane?

Devotion for the Week of June 23, 2008

“Who are you?”

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me…For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9, 10b

“Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship. And by him we cry Abba, Father. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” Romans 8:15-16

I’m a sucker for personality quizzes and tests. Over the years I have taken numerous kinds, both formal and informal….the Myers-Briggs (I’m an INFJ), what’s my “color” and what does that say about me (red-strong personality)…IQ tests (I’m not telling!)…am I right brained or left brained (surprisingly, right down the middle), etc. The most recent one determined which Jane Austen heroine I am. (I was hoping to be an Elizabeth Bennett, but came out an Ann Elliott!) On one level, I take them for their entertainment value, and, on another, for the insight they give into who I am.

In my early 20s I thought I knew the answer to that question. I was strong, independent, ambitious, and fearless. By my mid-thirties, after years of unforeseen and unwanted trials and difficulties, I didn’t recognize myself. I had become fearful, anxious, weak in my own eyes, and dependent (what I considered to be the worst possible thing to be). I am turning 40 at the end of summer, and a new “me” is emerging. I am slowly, but surely, becoming strong, more ambitious, and fearless again, all while staying dependent.

The new, improved “me” is emerging because I am learning more and more deep within my soul who I really am. I am God’s child. I am His beloved daughter. I can’t begin to tell you all the wonderful benefits and promises that come with being so. The Bible is filled with them. Just a few…protection, provision, guidance, loving and perfect “discipline” for my own good to help me reflect more of Christ to others, confidence to be able to face whatever comes, a perfect plan by which to live my life, simple and not so simple blessings that bring beauty and joy to my life, and most importantly…unconditional love by my God, my Abba, my daddy, who is trustworthy and faithful…who will never forsake me.

I am learning to be who I was meant to be before I was ever born. I can be strong, because in my weakness God’s strength is made perfect. I can be ambitious because He has great plans for me…to use me, to make my life meaningful and productive. I can be fearless, because if God is for me, who can be against me and win? No one. I can be dependent on God alone because He is trustworthy and faithful. I am no longer relying on myself…I am relying on God. And, I’m great with that!

What would your personality test say? Who are you really? Are you who your creator, God, intended you to be? Are you trusting in, resting in, and relying on Him alone? Perhaps you believe that you don’t need God…that you can be strong, ambitious, fearless and independent all on your own strength and will power. (I bought into that lie for a long time.) And, maybe, you’re even doing a pretty good job of holding things together. But, the thing is, if you are going it alone, at worst, you are way in over your head and are falling apart, or at best, you have settled for second best for your life. And, you can be assured that your second best is way less than God’s best.

Who are you? Who were you meant to be? You are God’s daughter or you are God’s son. Pursue your creator, your Father, God, and through His power, be all that He planned for you to be. Anything else is less…way less.

Father,

Thank you for creating me, and for having a plan for my life before I was ever born. Give me the courage, strength, and direction I need to discover who I am in you and then to be who you planned for me to be. Thank you for your promises and for your faithfulness toward your children. You are our loving, faithful, trustworthy God, our Abba, our daddy.

In your son, Jesus’, precious name, Amen.

My Own “Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict”

I just finished reading Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict by Laurie Viera Rigler. It has a clever premise: A modern woman is cheated on by her fiance, numbs her pain with vodka and Jane Austen classics, and finds herself transported (via a form of New Age-like time travel) back to Jane Austen’s time. Alternating between questioning her sanity and trying to enlighten the supporting cast of characters with her modern views of women, all while trying to figure out how to get back to her modern life, she systematically shatters every romantic delusion I have about the regency period!

The book convicted me, so here are my own “confessions”:

1. I was actually a member of the JASNA (Jane Austen Society of North America) for several years and secretly, though proudly!, carried my membership card in my wallet.
2. I tried to talk my husband into going to the 2001 JASNA Annual General Meeting in Seattle as a trip to celebrate our ninth wedding anniversary. I envisioned days spent in stimulating conferences such as “Estimating Lace and Muslin: Dress and Fashion in Jane Austen and her World” and “Jane Austen and the Reconsigned Child: The True Identity of Fanny Price” and evenings spent waltzing (I have gained permission from the patronesses of Almacks!) and performing country dances while dressed in period costumes. Had it not been for 9-11 and my fear of flying in the aftermath, we might have went…and if we had, there may not have been a tenth anniversary! My husband may be of English ancestry and also long-suffering, but even he has a limit. And, I am pretty confident that making him wear skin tight knee-britches and a cravat while performing country dances exceeds it!
3. Once in a great while I am inexplicably drawn to the Jane Austen section of the book store with the hope of discovering some new novel she wrote that I had somehow never heard of…and, every time, I am actually a bit disappointed when I don’t find any.
4. I have high hopes of being good friends with Jane when I get to Heaven!
5. A few years ago I went outside to go sledding with my girls after a snow storm (ok…I confess, we don’t really have snow storms where I live…only about 3 inches or so had fallen). When I stepped outside, it was like being in a space movie with little black specks of debris floating back and forth in my field of vision. I have about 15 floaters in one eye and 5 or so in the other. It freaked me out and I went to the eye doctor to make sure my retna hadn’t torn. She referred me to a retna specialist for the following week. During the weekend before my appointment I was worried that I was going blind. What did I frantically read that weekend as “my last book” per se? I wish I could say it was the Bible, but I have to confess, it was Pride & Prejudice.
6. I have a secret wish to be kissed on the back of my hand…by Mr. Darcey.
7. I wish modern women still had the modesty and sexual morals that they had back then. When I see “modern women” of today, I often think what an outrage their clothing and behavior would have been during the regency period. Modern women have gained many rights, but IMHO, sadly they have lost their class and sometimes just seem silly, and even sad, now.
8. I wish I had all of the servants that regency women had…butlers, cooks, housekeepers, lady’s maids, footmen, etc. But, as my husband often reminds me, it was only the very wealthy who had all of that…the rest worked themselves to death just to squeak out a meager living.
9. If my last name hadn’t been the generic “Johnson,” I would have named one of my daughters Jane.
10. I didn’t want my romantic delusions of the regency period shattered!!!

Feel free to share any of your “Jane Austen addict” confessions!

Devotion for the Week of June 16, 2008

“Email from God”

“This is how God showed His love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love:not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:9-10

Several months ago I had had it. I mean I was sick and tired of it all…sick and tired of difficult circumstances, sick and tired of difficult relationships, sick and tired of health “scares” the doctors seem to just love to put me through (we have good health insurance and the doctors know how to use it),…just plain sick and tired of everything. I am betting you know what I am talking about and have had your own moments (or even longer!) of being “sick and tired” of it all.

One night it was late and I was very tired. This is always a prime time for me to throw myself pity parties,…’cause you know, we like to party around here…and, I’m not always as particular as I should be about the kind of parties I like to throw!…I was checking email while feeling incredibly sorry for myself. Out of frustration at life and at God I opened a Word document and wrote one sentence on it, the one question that all of life and all that life holds boils down to. I wrote…

“God, do you really love me?”

I saved the word document and closed the computer. Even before my laptop went “click” I was already feeling rather foolish. I vowed to delete it first thing in the morning.

The next morning I went to delete the folder without even opening it…but I couldn’t help myself…so I opened the document instead, because you never know…God can do anything…just maybe…

But, there was nothing there…only my one pitiful sentence…

“God, do you really love me?”

Feeling a little disappointed, but not surprised, I then went to check my email. For a long time now I have been getting the daily devotional emails from Girlfriends in God. These are ones written by professionals! (Click their link on the right hand side bar under blogroll and sign up for them…you’ll love them!) and as usual, that day’s email was waiting for me in my inbox. I opened it and this is what it said…

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8 NIV).”

And I knew…I knew that God, through His divine orchestration, had the wonderful ladies at Girlfriends in God send me an email boldly and decisively establishing His love for me. I knew that He had seen me in all my “pity party glory” and had had compassion on me and reaffirmed His love to me. And I knew that I don’t ever, ever have to doubt His love for me again…not when I’m being a “saint” and showing love and kindness to others, not when I am being a “sinner” and messing up for the millionth time, not when I am faced with difficult, scary, or painful things…not EVER!

God’s love for me is so great that He would sacrifice His one and only son on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins…sins He foreknew I would commit. He did it anyway. And, you know what? He didn’t do this incredibly loving thing just for me. He did it for you, too! That email is for you, too! He loves you so much that He had His son die on that cross for your sins. And He did this knowing that so many people, in truth the majority of people,…perhaps even you,…would reject not only His son’s death and resurrection, but would reject His love for them, too. He did it anyway. He still loved and continues to love.

And, no matter what I, or you, have done or continue to do…He still loves me and He still loves you. All I have to do is open my heart up in faith to Him and love Him and let Him love me back. And, all you have to do is have the faith to open your heart to Him and learn to love Him and let Him love you back, too.

Now, that’s a reason to throw a party!

Abba, Father,

I cannot begin to fathom your love for me…that you would sacrifice your own son for one such as I. I praise you and thank you and am forever grateful for your love for me. Thank you for affirming your love for me over and over. Open my heart and my soul up to your love, help me to understand it and accept it, and teach me to love you in return. You are my Abba, my daddy, and I love you!

In Your son, Jesus,’ precious name, Amen.

Devotion for the Week of June 9, 2008

“From the Inside Out”

“Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Psalm 103:1-5

You may already be familiar with CT scans, a sophisticated x-ray procedure used to examine internal organs, structures and tissues. Multiple pictures are taken and then put together to provide cross-sectional images of the body. CT scans can be done with or without contrast. When the DR wants to make the organs and structures easier to see, he/she will order a contrasting agent. The contrasting agent is an iodine dye that you drink and/or have injected via an IV tube. When the dye is injected into your body it floods through your veins giving you a warm sensation all over and leaving a metallic taste in your mouth. Once the procedure is completed, the pictures are read and interpreted by a highly-trained radiologist. If something abnormal is found, a diagnosis can be made and treatment can be started.

As a Christian, one of the things I have struggled with the most is understanding why God allows bad things to happen, particularly to those who love Him, serve Him, and genuinely seek to do His will. Shouldn’t being a Christian, loving God, and serving Him at church and elsewhere give me a free pass? Shouldn’t life be a proverbial bed of roses for the remainder of my life? I have to say…I was shocked…and then mad at God when I realized it didn’t work that way.

At first I thought it was because I wasn’t “good enough.” I bought into the lie that God’s love was conditional, that He only loved me when I was “perfect” and begrudged me and allowed bad things to happen in my life in response to my many failures. Perhaps you have bought into this lie, too, and it is buried deep in your own heart, just as it was in mine.

I have finally come to realize that when God allows the bad things, often one of the reasons is that they act as a contrasting agent in a person’s life, to reveal to that person their true character and beliefs…not just the outward mask we all put on to fool others and ourselves. Difficult, painful times, just as a contrasting dye, flood through your inner being to your very core and always leave a bitter taste in your mouth. And, just as contrasting dye, they reveal what you’re really made of…your heart issues and attitudes, your weaknesses, any “cancers” inside your soul, and the strongholds in your life. You see, God doesn’t place His greatest priority on our comfort and happiness…on giving us a life that’s a bed of roses. His greatest desire is for each one of us to have a relationship with Him…to know Him in His perfect, faithful love and goodness…and to allow Him to heal us and change us…and then to share Him with others who are suffering from their own diseases.

I have had multiple CT scans both literally and figuratively. What was my diagnosis? I had deep-seated issues with trusting God and believing that God loved me unconditionally, and that He was good-even when He allowed the hard times. I had strongholds of fear and anxiety that I let control me and keep me imprisoned. I had “cancers” of anger and resentment, unforgiveness, and a critical spirit. And I had weaknesses in my obedience to His commands and in allowing the Holy Spirit to work in me. What would your scan show?

The wondrous thing about it is that neither my nor your diagnosis is a life sentence…they aren’t incurable. God doesn’t reveal these “hard to face up to issues” in order to condemn us. He reveals them so that treatment and healing can begin. He is the Great Physician! And, If I allow Him to work inside me…in my inner being… in my heart, mind, and soul…He will patiently reveal and heal all that keeps me from living in His freedom and perfect love. There is no quick fix…there is NO OTHER lasting fix.

God longs to lavish His healing power on you. The Master Physician awaits for you to turn to Him and turn over to Him your own diseases, conditions, and “cancers.” In His perfect love for you, He longs to free you and give you His strength, His peace, His purpose! Let Him! And, let the healing begin!

Father,

I praise You and thank You for your healing power. Give me the courage to face my diseases, conditions, and “cancers,” and to turn them over to You so that You can heal me. You are loving and good. And, You are faithful to heal me as I allow the Holy Spirit to work inside me.

In Your son, Jesus,’ precious name, Amen.

“From the Inside Out” by Hillsong

Good News! My Internet Friends!

I woke up this morning and just knew it was going to be a good day today! And I was right! Today is…wait for it!…wait for it!…National Doughnut Day!!! That’s right!!!…a whole day dedicated to the glorious, wondrous, fabulous, straight from heaven ’cause God loves us so much doughnut! And boy will we be celebrating here at the Johnson home! ‘Cause you know…we like to party around here. I am heading to the grocery store to pick up my box of Krispy Kremes as soon as I get done here. I just may get crazy and get TWO boxes! I hope you get crazy yourself and get ya some doughnuts, too. And just for the fun of it…pick up an extra box and give it to someone else and wish them a Happy National Doughnut Day, too!

P.S. If you read this after the official National Doughnut Day, it’s never too late to celebrate! Go get ya some doughnuts and celebrate!