“Am I Smarter Than a First Grader?”
“A friend loves at all times.” Proverbs 17:17
I spent a lovely morning doing one of my favorite things about being a parent…attending a school presentation. My daughter’s first grade class had written and illustrated a book that the teacher then had published into hardbound copies. The students had picked the theme of the book, and each one wrote a page and illustrated it. To honor their effort, the teacher had the parents come this morning to hear the children read their pages and to stay for cookies and lemonade.
I love first grade. It’s possibly because I remember with fondness my own first grade teacher-a Miss Kiser with long, shiny blond hair and lots of beautiful freckles all over. I love the innocence the children still have. I love their pure joy in simple things that adults easily overlook. I love the amazing strides they make not just academically, but in all aspects of their being. And, I love the simplistic, yet vital, foundation of information that they learn…. 2+2=4, “I like to a-a-at apples and bananas…,” and if you put grass seeds in a cup of soil and add water and sun, it grows into grass. Everything is simple yet vital, innocent, downscaled…it’s a magical world.
I arrived early and settled into my miniature chair, checked the camera, exchanged greetings with the other parents and waited eagerly for the presentation to begin. The children had picked the theme of friendship and the title of their book was How to be a Good Friend. They took turns standing and reading their one page of wisdom…of what it takes to be a good friend. My daughter was up first and was halfway through reading by the time I got the camera working. One by one each child stood and imparted their wisdom on the adults assembled. The parents smiled, took pictures and affirmed their children. But did anyone actually listen to what these children had written? I don’t mean just hear…I mean listen?
I thought about it as I sat there. The cynic in me was amused by their naivety and thought “What do these children know about relationships? Everything is simple to them. Their problems are simple. Their interpersonal dynamics are simple. Not like the complexity of adult relationships. Wait till they grow up and get a taste of what it’s like to have real difficulties in relationships.” But another side of me said, “Jamie…listen to what they are saying. Perhaps it really is just this simple.”
In our rush to grow up to be adults we lose our simplicity, our innocence…our foundational truths. Perhaps these first graders really are smarter than us adults. Perhaps we need to downsize our pride, our status, our rights, our complacency, our cynicism toward others, our self-absorption, our motives and hidden agendas in our relationships with others, our selfishness, the complexity we add to relationships, and the shallow things that we value. Perhaps we need to get back to the basics…to the vital foundation of how to relate to others. Perhaps we need to listen, really listen, to what these first graders had to say:
“You can be a good friend by helping people if they’re hurt. If they don’t have anyone to play with you can play with them. And if they don’t know what to do, then you can help them to know what to do.”
“The way to be a good friend is to cheer someone when they are sad.”
“You also have to remind them to be quiet in the hallway.”
“If you are at lunch and someone wants to sit right beside you don’t tell them that they can’t sit there. That would hurt their feelings.”
“If someone is lonely you can play with them.”
“The way to be a good friend is to always tell the truth.”
“The way to be a good friend is to say nice words like that’s nice, good, beautiful, friend, good job, like those.”
“If they are sick you can do stuff for them.”
“The way to be a good friend is to play fair with friends. Try not to cheat and play by the rules.”
“If they drop their crayons, help them pick the crayons up.”
“I would never be mean to my friend.”
“You can be a good friend by not being mean or bossy.”
“Be nice to people.”
“Treat them how they want to be treated.”
“To be a good friend share your toys.”
“To be a good friend is to help people up.”
“If someone didn’t have a pencil I could give them one.”
“The way to be a good friend is by helping.”
“I share my toys. I play nice.”
“Don’t forget to eat with them.”
“You can be a good friend by sharing lunch, if they don’t have lunch.”
“You could be sure about telling the truth and making sure everything is ok.”
“”If someone is hurt you ask them are you okay?”
“If someone is being mean to your friend and knocks them down, pick your friend up.”
“Tell the teacher if they get hurt.”
“To be a good friend you could play with them.”
“Get them to a doctor and make sure they are okay…This is the way I can be a good friend.”
Caring, sharing, honesty, selflessness, helping, giving, encouraging, kindness, playing, eating, and loving…it’s that simple. Thank you Mrs. Whitmire’s first grade class for reminding us adults what it means to be a good friend. Thank you for letting us into your magical world of simplicity…truth…and friendship. And, thank you for the cookies and lemonade…they were yummy! 
Lord,
Thank you for this reminder of your truths. Help me not be too proud to really listen to what these children said and to be mindful of how I treat others. Help me to treat others with kindness, mercy, gentleness and love. Bless these precious children.
In your son, Jesus,’ precious name, Amen.
